Change is Possible

Help is Available

MEN/s Group

Men Embracing Nonviolence and Safety

Why Do Men Come to the MEN/S Group?

A man may call The MEN/S Group after a crisis in his relationship and he realizes he needs help with his violence or abuse. He may have been served with a PFA or his partner may have left. In some cases the man may have been required to attend the program by the court or Children and Youth Services.

Can I Really Change?

Yes, but progress will depend on accepting responsibility for your problem. You will have to work hard on this behavior for a long time, without expecting rewards or support from a partner. Change does not occur overnight, if it occurs at all. Many men drop out along the way. Our program is just a beginning step for a man interested in stopping violent or abusive behavior. Long term improvement in behavior is more likely for a man who completes the basic program and makes a commitment to continue the work in group. However, even those efforts provide no guarantee; some men continue to be violent and/or controlling even after group completion. ABUSE IS A CHOICE!  It is not caused by any other person, disease,  or external event!

Is alcohol the reason for abusive behavior?

Contrary to popular beliefs, alcohol or drugs do not cause a man to be abusive. If he is violent and also abuses alcohol, then he has two problems for which he needs to get help. Although the battering and the substance abuse are two separate problems, it is true that a man who is violent while under the influence of drugs or alcohol can be particularly dangerous. He will have to stop abusing substances in order to make any meaningful progress to overcoming violence.

WHAT DOES THE MEN/S GROUP TEACH?

Education on the nature of domestic violence.

Many men who are abusive do not understand that abuse includes not only physical violence, but also emotional and verbal assaults, destroying property, stalking, and other controlling behaviors that can terrify or intimidate women and children. The MEN/S Group teaches that there is no excuse for any type of abuse and such behavior is never provoked by the victim.

Strategies for Stopping Abusive Behavior

Group members are taught specific skills to help them identify when they are at risk for acting abusively and to interrupt their patterns of escalation into violence. Each member is expected to practice these tools regularly as a way to demonstrate his commitment to ending his violent behavior.

Changing Attitudes and Beliefs

Men who perpetuate abuse have often developed a number of beliefs, expectations, and attitudes that lead to violence. (i.e. superiority, possessiveness, acceptance of violence as a resolution, etc). Our program works to establish new, non-aggressive attitudes with regard to relationships, the opposite sex, and social behaviors.

Achieving Equality in Relationships

Our program has a long term goal of helping participants achieve the mutual respect, trust, and support that is necessary to maintain non-abusive relationships. We also strive to help men develop long-term plans for sharing responsibility with their partners in areas such as family finances, communication, and parenting. However, our program focuses on stopping violence, not “saving relationships”.

Call the MEN/S Group at (412) 687-8017 X 340

No insurance (third party payments)! Self Pay Only! All appointments require that you pay in advance, and there is a $60 payment for your intake session with the group coordinator.  Fees are on a sliding scale based on income ranging from $60 to $200 per month for 3-4 or 5 sessions!  Fees are due the first session of each month!  You can call for a brochure or download it from our publications section by clicking here.

The MEN/S Group assists with:

• Changing the beliefs and attitudes that perpetuate Domestic Violence.
• Realizing how you create many of your own conflicts.
• Taking responsibility for YOUR actions and not blaming others.
• Realizing how your behaviors impact your partner, yourself, your children, and your relationship.
• Giving up your control tactics and sense of entitlement to use them.
  

EXPECTATIONS

Confidentiality: All personal stories heard within the group are to stay in the group and are not to be shared with any other individual. If a member of the group is found to have broken confidentiality he will be asked to leave the group because it is no longer safe for other group members.

No verbal or physical threats to anyone in the room will be tolerated. Anyone making such threats will be discharged from the program.

Be on time. You will be told when the group begins and ends. If you are more than 5 minutes late you will not be admitted to the group and will have to make up that session at a later date.

Other expectations, rules, and outlines will be provided at the initial orientation.

COMMON QUESTIONS

How are the groups structured?

The group meets for 24 sessions. There is a male facilitator and a female co-facilitator. We require a commitment for the entire length of the program. Any man who participates for less time than that is a cause for concern. Meetings involve presentations and group discussions on issues related to abuse and control. Each man has an opportunity to talk about his problems with violence or abuse and receive feedback from the group members. Meetings focus on a variety of topics relative to domestic abuse and unhealthy relationships. Additionally we offer take home exercises and teach skills designed to help men be aware of a change in their behavior.

IF YOU HAVE BEEN COURT ORDERED

You must call the MEN/S Group at (412) 687-8017 X 340 within 10 days of your court order or you will be referred back to court for non-compliance. Please leave a message saying that you have been court ordered and the coordinator will return your call to schedule your intake.

All appointments require that you pay in advance, and there is a $60 payment for your intake session with the group coordinator. No insurance (third party payments)! Self Pay Only! Fees are on a sliding scale based on income ranging from $60 to $200 per month for 3-4 or 5 sessions!  Fees are due the first session of each month! No verification of involvement is given w/o fee payment being current!

If for some reason you must cancel an appointment, you must do so at least 24 hours in advance or you will be billed for the appointment. Additionally, arriving more than 10 minutes late for an appointment will, in most cases, require a new appointment be scheduled and a new fee assessed.

Once you have completed the intake you will be given verification of your compliance with your court order, and will receive subsequent verifications as court hearings may require.

You must bring the following to your initial intake session:

• Income Verification
• All court papers, including PFA’s
• Police Reports
• Conditions of any parole/probation